Life is a Pilgrimage

Life is a pilgrimage. It is a journey full of experiences, lessons, and growth. There are many small voyages within the grand pilgrimage that shape and mold life as a whole. This past semester in Uganda has been one of these small voyages. I’ve experienced a new lifestyle and learned about a new culture. I hope this voyage shapes my pilgrimage.  

.          

I’ve really struggled the past couple years with the internal debate of “should I stay or should I go.” In many ways, the only reason I would want to live and work internationally would be to experience a new culture. On the other hand, America is my home. It is where my friends and family are. Leaving this would be very difficult. I’ve spent hours weighing the pros and cons of this internal debate. I became unable to be comfortable in one place because I didn’t know where life would take me.

During rural homestays, we read an article called “Education for Homelessness or Homemaking?” This article questioned the intent of university education and more specifically how Christian universities are falling into the same trap. Wendell Berry is quoted within the article as saying, “The child is not educated to return home and be of use to the place and community; he or she is educated to leave home and earn money in a provisional future that has nothing to do with place or community” (Bouma, 4). This article made me realize that college really is all about moving up the financial ladder and often out of community. The more one focuses on moving up, the less one has a place to call home. College education tells students to constantly move upward and never stop to develop roots. Through this article and a variety of experiences in Uganda, I have learned the importance of having a grounded home and of becoming rooted in one community. This realization helps me feel more comfortable going back home and developing roots somewhere in America. Contrary to what I usually hear in chapel at Cedarville University, staying in one place is fine; maybe it’s even better then traveling the world. Do I now know exactly what I will do with my life and where I am headed? No, of course not. But I do have more confidence in where I think my life is going.

… This semester has solidified my new belief that having an open mind and dealing with situations as they arise is crucial to making my own informed decisions. I don’t like the labels of political parties or denominations. They place limitations on beliefs and actions. I want to be able to decide what I believe about a certain issue when it arises, not have my decisions made for me by a label I have conformed to. Open-mindedness is a core value that I have been learning the past few years, and I want to continue to practice it and allow it to impact me.

Simplicity is a core value I want to add to my pilgrimage. Through the many experiences I have had--rural home-stay, working at Chain Foundation, and Faith and Action, my eyes have been opened to poverty on a new level. I’m learning that my lifestyle is full of abundance, and that a simple lifestyle isn’t a bad thing. The main example I have of this is a conversation I had with one of my coworkers at Chain. She had asked me if there were poor people in America without homes. I explained to her that yes, America has homeless people too. Then she got more personal and began to ask questions like “Is it true that Americans have a lot of clothes?” I answered honestly: Yes, many Americans do have an abundance of clothes, and I am one of them. Then the questions become even more convicting. “Do you have clothes that you don’t even wear?” Yes, yes I do; and I don’t know why I have them either. This was a concept that she couldn’t even begin to understand. Why would a person own more clothes than they can wear? Then--here it comes--the shoe question. “Do you have a lot of shoes?” I honestly don’t even know how many pairs of shoes I have, but it’s a lot. Of course I tried to justify this by saying, “With all the different weather changes in Ohio, I need shoes for every condition.” But that didn’t help either of us feel better about the situation. I asked her if she likes shoes too, and she does! So I asked how many pairs she has. She said, “I could count them on one hand.” Oh shoot, Jessica, what are you doing with your life?

This is probably the most straight forward convicting experience I’ve had, but I did see more example of poverty. All of these encounters gave me a stronger desire to live a simple lifestyle. However, this raises many questions for my future. What does a simple lifestyle look like in America? What do I do with all of my abundance? Can I still spend money on entertainment in order to have time with friends and family? I want to live a simple lifestyle in order to benefit others, not just to make myself feel good.

Now that I have discussed some of my values that have grown while I’ve been here, let me share where I see my pilgrimage going from here. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four and a half years now... When I return home, we will have a lot to discuss about what I have learned and how I want to live differently now. However, I believe that he will be very supportive of me. He actually has been trying to explain my issue of abundance to me for years. Both of my homestay experiences helped me to see that living on less is quite possible and can still be comfortable.

After college I hope to continue my education in order to earn my Masters in social work. I’m still unsure about what area of social work I want to pursue. When I decided to study social work, I wanted to work with the elderly. During my practicum here, I have been working with visually impaired children, and I have absolutely loved it! Maybe I should pursue working with disabled individuals or children. My favorite part of working with the children was my ability to relate to them due to the fact that I am also visually impaired. I once lead a “talk show” (seminar) at Chain with the visually impaired children. I shared my testimony about living with a visual impairment, and encouraged them to pursue becoming whatever/whoever they want to become. I asked what they want to be in the future; many want to be doctors, lawyers, and teachers. I told them that I believe they can each become these things regardless of their visual impairment. At the end, we had a time for questions. Many asked about visually impaired children in America. Are there blind children in the US? Do they read Braille too? Do they use the Perkins Brailler too? It was fun to share with them that visually impaired children in the US are very similar to them.

This experience allowed me to encourage others to have a positive attitude, but it was also a good reminder for myself. I was somewhat hesitant to spend the night at Chain because I can’t see in the dark and I don’t know the campus very well. Then I remember that half the children there are blind. It’s so easy to use my impairment as an excuse or a way out; but if I really want to do something, I know I can. Having a positive attitude is another core value in my life. Being optimistic is what keeps me strong and moving forward. It is something I have practiced throughout my life and I hope it continues to define my life in the future.

I also hope that I am able to show true compassion to those around me. Nouwen, McNeill, and Morrison wrote a book called Compassion. In this book they define compassion as the act of “suffering with”. This means that we as Christians should humble ourselves and instead of trying to fix everyone’s issues, work to understand the heart of the person suffering. The one suffering must also be willing to become vulnerable and discuss what they are feeling. (Nouwen). This is a different type of communication that I hope to practice in my future as a social worker, wife, and friend. This kind of communication also helps to build a strong community which is another thing I want to have in my future.

            Throughout this semester I have learned about poverty and community. I’m somewhat worried about communicating and practicing these ideas when I get home because it’s abnormal and difficult to live a simple lifestyle in America. I will need to remind myself that my family and friends have not had this experience to live in a witness poverty like I have. I need to be patient and have a forgiving heart as I return to a country full of materialism. This paper is definitely a good start to the processing that needs to take place, but not at all the end. 

            And so my pilgrimage continues. I have knowledge and experiences to carry with me for the rest of my journey. I hope that I never lose these new ideas and ways of life. My pilgrimage will be shaped and changed by this small voyage.